I understand you got your swag on

but could you please walk a little faster?

Before you go pointing fingers,

make sure your hands are clean.

STFU. 
Tell me this is not real.

Moving forward can be very hard

especially if you keep looking back.

He wants to be more then friends.

Take a hint.

Remember when you were younger

and your mom would say

"too much sweets will turn your stomach sour"

but of course you didn't listen to her

and you'd stuff your face silly anyway?

She'd always be right

and you'd always pay the day after?

Yea, you remember that don't you?

Well,

the same rule applies here.

Too much of one thing

can be a very bad thing.
Sometimes,
less is more.

Give her too much and

it's your heart that'll wind up sore.

Pictures are worth a thousand words.

They need not be spoken.

I'm sorry you thought Inception sucked.

Maybe you should've paid attention to the movie

instead of texting me while it was on.

Then maybe you wouldn't have missed a detail or two.

Or...

Maybe you're in a dream

within a dream

within a dream

and within that dream

you're dreaming you didn't like the movie.

WTF?

I lost you, didn't I?  

Well,

you may be too stupid to understand it afterall.

You don't die from a broken heart.

You only wish you had.

Oh, ok.

So, I'm not allowed to look at fantasy football magazines

because I'm female and I'm wearing two inch heels.

And because I also have books with me.

Why am I repeating everything you're saying? 

(because you're a douche and I'm having trouble understanding your logic)

I have books because we are in Barnes and Nobles 

and I can wear heels because I am a female.

I don't know you.

Can I please have my magazines back now?

Not until I can name five quarterbacks?

Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson.

What the fuck kind of question is that?

Actually you caught me.
I just wanted to look at the magazine
for pictures of hot guys.
You sexist pig.

Last time I checked you don't need a penis to watch or know about sports.

ninja, say what?

There's a lesson in this hot mess somewhere..

What?

I don't think that's right.

Really, it's not.

I promise.

Oh, I get it.

You're right,

even when you're wrong.

Don't try to change her.

That's who she is.

Take her or leave.

It's really just that simple.

.

Dear Nowitzki,
It's been almost eleven years since I first laid eyes on you.  Let's be honest, I wasn't too impressed.  You with your goofy haircut, all arms and legs, at the old Reunion Center, tripping on your own feet.  Yea, not a good look guy.  Not at all.

But somewhere along the way, I quit clowning on your clumsy ass and started rooting for you.  I mean, you're not the best player out there but damn what you lack in skills you make up for in effort.  Like fungus, you kinda grew on me guy.

Everybody wants to win a championship.  I get it.  So as much as I hate to see you go, I would totally  understand.

However, I heard that you were in NY.  If the rumors are true and you're just hanging out with Kidd, I'll be fine. But if you are negotiating over there or even thinking about it, I promise you I will go apeshit.  It's been an eleven year love affair guy, I have invested alot in you. You can leave me for someone good...but NY??? Don't do it.  I deserve better.