please...

Dear Memedo,
           I'm at wits end.  Since you're so smart, maybe you can help me out.  You see, I am considered a triple threat, not only am I extremely good looking, but I have the brains, the body and the money to match that.  I have girls lining up at my door and I'm rarely seen without an eyecandy linked to my arm. It doesn't help that I'm extremely successful. Everyone envys me.  And to be perfectly honest, why wouldn't they.  I am perfect.  While some consider this a blessing, I find all this attention and focus on me a tad bit annoying.  What can I do to stop the female population from pawing all over me?

Sincerely,
Troubled
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Dear Troubled,
                Wow, you have some serious problems.  Goodlooking, smart, rich, and successful?  Damn, I feel so sorry for you.  Nobody should ever have to go through what you're currently experiencing. 
I think your problem is that you are way tooOOOooo MODEST.  Humbleness can be added to your list of attributes.  Well, I'll pray for you.  May God be with you!!


Sincerely,
Memedo
*Please do not come to me with crap like this and expect me to serious.