I understand you got your swag on

but could you please walk a little faster?

Before you go pointing fingers,

make sure your hands are clean.

STFU. 
Tell me this is not real.

Moving forward can be very hard

especially if you keep looking back.

He wants to be more then friends.

Take a hint.

Remember when you were younger

and your mom would say

"too much sweets will turn your stomach sour"

but of course you didn't listen to her

and you'd stuff your face silly anyway?

She'd always be right

and you'd always pay the day after?

Yea, you remember that don't you?

Well,

the same rule applies here.

Too much of one thing

can be a very bad thing.
Sometimes,
less is more.

Give her too much and

it's your heart that'll wind up sore.

Pictures are worth a thousand words.

They need not be spoken.

I'm sorry you thought Inception sucked.

Maybe you should've paid attention to the movie

instead of texting me while it was on.

Then maybe you wouldn't have missed a detail or two.

Or...

Maybe you're in a dream

within a dream

within a dream

and within that dream

you're dreaming you didn't like the movie.

WTF?

I lost you, didn't I?  

Well,

you may be too stupid to understand it afterall.

You don't die from a broken heart.

You only wish you had.

Oh, ok.

So, I'm not allowed to look at fantasy football magazines

because I'm female and I'm wearing two inch heels.

And because I also have books with me.

Why am I repeating everything you're saying? 

(because you're a douche and I'm having trouble understanding your logic)

I have books because we are in Barnes and Nobles 

and I can wear heels because I am a female.

I don't know you.

Can I please have my magazines back now?

Not until I can name five quarterbacks?

Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson.

What the fuck kind of question is that?

Actually you caught me.
I just wanted to look at the magazine
for pictures of hot guys.
You sexist pig.

Last time I checked you don't need a penis to watch or know about sports.

ninja, say what?

There's a lesson in this hot mess somewhere..

What?

I don't think that's right.

Really, it's not.

I promise.

Oh, I get it.

You're right,

even when you're wrong.

Don't try to change her.

That's who she is.

Take her or leave.

It's really just that simple.

.

Dear Nowitzki,
It's been almost eleven years since I first laid eyes on you.  Let's be honest, I wasn't too impressed.  You with your goofy haircut, all arms and legs, at the old Reunion Center, tripping on your own feet.  Yea, not a good look guy.  Not at all.

But somewhere along the way, I quit clowning on your clumsy ass and started rooting for you.  I mean, you're not the best player out there but damn what you lack in skills you make up for in effort.  Like fungus, you kinda grew on me guy.

Everybody wants to win a championship.  I get it.  So as much as I hate to see you go, I would totally  understand.

However, I heard that you were in NY.  If the rumors are true and you're just hanging out with Kidd, I'll be fine. But if you are negotiating over there or even thinking about it, I promise you I will go apeshit.  It's been an eleven year love affair guy, I have invested alot in you. You can leave me for someone good...but NY??? Don't do it.  I deserve better.

hilarious.

Sharing is caring. Try not to die on me.

attention please

Apparently, you didn't get the memo. Last time I checked, Barnes and Nobles didn't serve fried chicken. Actually, I'm pretty positive they don't.  So, if they don't serve fried chicken at their establishment, I'm quite sure they don't appreciate you eating it in their place of business. And if for some odd reason they didn't mind you having dinner on their sofa, it's almost definite that they wouldn't like your greasy fingers all over their merchandise, especially if you have no plans on purchasing it.  And btw, pretending not to know any English and laughing at the employees mercifully is pretty ignorant.  Sadly, this is not the first time either.  People like you guys make me embarrassed to be Asian.

The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
The Traveler - John Twelve Hawks
Flipped - Wendelin Van Draanen

                                                                                      wehearit.com

Nothing exciting ever happens 

because you don't allow it.    

Do something.  

Something outrageous.  

Do anything.  

Anything at all.

Just do it.

                                                                  weheartit.com

You are beautiful, but you are empty. 
One could not die for you.

-The Little Prince by Antione de Saint Exupery

yes, you.

weheartit.com

the joy

Oh no, 

poor Boston,

missed out on winning

their 40th championship.

Oh yay,

Lakers with #32.

-somebody extremely witty-

Look,
numbnuts,
life can blow.

I need you to understand

that when something goes wrong

you can't expect cookies.

When everything slows down

and you regain focus,

you may find 

that what you see

is not always what you get.

in time

I won't point out your flaws.

People will only believe 

what they see.

Perfect you are

to almost everyone but me.

So, for now

I'll let everyones perceptions be.

No, that's not a chicken.
Now that,
that's a hawk.

Badass.

The "hawk" I saw the other day,

did not look like that.

Anyone could have made my mistake.

Laugh at me all you want.

The "hawk" I saw looked like a chicken.

Totally.

opps!!!

Was in Walgreens

and stumbled upon a most amusing conversation.

kid: When are we leaving? I'm hungry!!!

    mother: After we develop Victoria's prom party pictures, so cut it out.

kid: Victoria had a porn party?

mother: What? No. Prom party. She had a PROM PARTY.  PROM PARTY!!!

kid: Is her PROM party the same as daddy's PORN PARTY. PORN PARTY!!!

Classic. 

Wish i had it recorded!!!

mine

My career is not nearly as prestigious as yours.

My diamond may never sparkle like hers.

My car won't ever accelerate like his.

My home may never be as big as theirs.

But my life,

despite what you say,

my life,

it is good.

When you have nothing left,

and everything is in shambles,

at least walk away with

your head held high.

For though you have naught,

you still have your pride.

That is worth more then

you know.

friends

People no longer have the time to understand anything.

They buy everything ready-made from the shops.

But there is no shop where friends can be bought,

so people no longer have friends.

-The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

bold, much?

                                                 

Look,

I'm not an expert or anything

but I think when you're getting fired,

"I'll give you time to reconsider"

probably isn't the smartest thing

to say to your employer.

EPIC FAIL.

Go ahead guy,

start walking.

old school...

yes,

in a world of modern technology,

i still love
the smell of real books.

i wish i may...

Facebook,

I'm going to be honest,

I'm quite jealous of you.

You have all these powers

to do as you please.

If someone talks too much,

click, you hide them,

never to hear from them again.

Sigh, imagine that.

Not only that,

but you have the ability

to just unfriend a friend.

Shit, you have the ability to

unfriend anyone,

even the dreaded family relations.
How great is that?

Now, if you can just

teach me how to do that,

my world will be so much brighter.

But you're probably too busy, huh?

I mean you're facebook.

You don't have time because you're

in everyone elses business.

When I grow up,

I wish to be just like you.

details...

                                                              www.fantompoet.com

I don't exaggerate.

I just remember big.

Real big.

my bad

                                            

Rockport, Texas

I owe you an apology.

I admit, I have clowned on you quite often.

With a population of about 9,000 residents,

and one stop sign, you make it so easy.

You proudly boast that you are the

home of Dat Nguyen yet you have

no Starbucks..?  Come on.

See how easy you make it?

However, this weekend

you've  proven me wrong.

Yes, you are an incredibly small city,

but what you lack in size you

make up for in personality.

Your quaint little city houses

some of the nicest and 

hardest working people I've

met in a long time.

With their infectious smiles to

their helpful attitudes,

not only did they make the heat

go away but

they left me feeling a little

better about people in general.

You don't see that much
hospitality nowadays.

So, thank you for giving me a

semi decent vacation.

I'm not saying I love you Rockport

just your people.

save yourselves

Ladies...ladies....ladies.....
if you actually want to keep the guy,
you may not want to show him how
pyscho you really are until maybe
6 months into the relationship,
or better yet wait til he's stuck.

Sorry but impregnating him
is not a viable option.
Dang, you really have issues yo.

Umm, yea, like I said,
don't release your true colors
just yet,
because chances are
he is going to run, run, and run.
Real fast,
he's going to run.

Surely you don't want that!!

P.S. Guys, she's crazy.

fool's gold

I thought we all understood that beggars could not be choosers.

No, I'm not calling you a beggar....

I'm just sayin' you can't afford to be choosy.

Trust me.

I wouldn't lie to you.

Well, I would but I'm feeling pretty honest today.

Yea, you may want to stop while you're ahead.

Actually, let's not wait, just stop now.

Because you couldn't get any better

then what you currently have.

Honestly, you hit the jackpot.

A big one.

And like all idiots who hit it big,

you lose your minds.

So, please don't shoot yourself in the foot,

the mouth, the face or any other

important body parts that you may need.

Stop before it's too late

It may not be perfect to you,

but it's pretty damn close bro.

Think about it.

go on, go

my friend,

easy come.

easy go.

fret  you not,

for it was not worth it.

imma be...

                                             yoshee.smugmug.com

Adults are always asking kids

what they want to be when they grow up 

because they're looking for ideas.

-Paula Poundstone

sin city???

                                                 yoshee.smugmug.com

Ladies, I know it's a little hard

letting the boys out to play,

but do you think after a night

of heavy drinking and intense gambling

that they will remember to visit the

strip bars? 

Oh, you do, do ya?

My bad.

Boys, you can't say I didn't try.

whining much??

I grew up believing that "big girls don't cry" because my father taught me so. I figured the same rule applies for the male gender, right?  Obviously, someones father has been slacking off. I think it's a bitch move to cry about wedding dates bro.  Who cares if his wedding is a week before yours???  Stealing your thunder??  Really?  What are you jacking lines from "Bride Wars?"  C'mon, this is where I do a penis check.  Yup, yours is gone!!! Be happy for your friend.  It will be ok.  The world will still turn and Chuck Norris is still the bomb yo. Oh btw, Tommy and I changed our color, should we check with you first groomzilla?

I'll pass

Nobody likes a sore loser

but I personally prefer them over their counter parts,

the SORE WINNERS.

You know them,

with their smug smile

and gloating words,

they never let you forget a thing.

Let them revel in their victory,

it won't last long,

for who wants to play with a bully?

Not I.

amused i am

good one children.

good one.

i'm glad they
learned something.

boys

  I know you're not a quitter!

  But sometimes you just

  need to throw in the towel

  and call it a day.

  No, really.

  Breaking your face

  and drilling your fingers

  can't be fun.

  Ok, so you haven't

  done that yet
  but.........

  there is always tomorrow.
  Besides, temporarily blinding 
  your pretty helper should be
  enough.

  What is there to

  think about?
  Stop while you're
  ahead buddy.

that's it

You appear so harmless.
Yet,
you pack a mean punch.
Lesson learned.

growing up

Remember when were young

and we knew everything,

or so we thought.

And how we couldn't wait to grow up

because no one understood us.

Boy, were we stupid.

Nothing ever is as it seems.

Being grown up is

harder then I thought.

color me happy

The right person is going to think the

sun shines out of your ass

and your shit smells like roses.

Until then,

don't compromise.

You are who you are.

full of it

ESPN called a panel of experts to compile a list of their top 3 postseason's biggest disappointment.

The results:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/playoffs/2010/news/story?page=DisappointingPlayers-100510. 

Hmm, I'm currently at a quandary.  Henry Abbott an expert..?? Really?  Abbott lost all creditabilty when he put Dirk's name on that list.

Yes, I love Dirk.  And yes I can be completely biased in his favor but out of the entire playoffs, Dirk as the biggest disappointment? 

Guy, I'm talking to you Abbott, you seriously have no business being a basketball commentator.  Obviously, you didn't do your homework.  Go look at the stat sheets yo.  Look at em real hard, then you will see that you are talking out of your ass.

Dirk averaged 26.7 ppg and 8.2 rpg, and shot 55% from behind the arc.  If you're going to blame their loss on anybody, then you're going to have to chalk it up to poor coaching and a weak supporting cast, with the exception of Roddy B and a few others.

I could run the stats for Jason Kidd, Jason Terry, Shawn Marion, and Erick Dampier for you but that would make you look like an even bigger douche.  Watch a game or two before you run your mouth.

Btw, Tim Duncan has not been playing like he use to but  #3 on your list?  Really?  You couldn't find anybody worst then DIRK or TIM? 

I need your job.  I don't have to know jack and I can spit shit out all day.  Must be good...must be good.

for now

Keep on wishing...

no one said you shouldn't try.

But wishing....

isn't going to change things.

Trust me.

I've been wishing for Nowitzki for awhile now.

You have to do more then that,

much more.

i must agree

Fate is like a strange,

unpopular restaurant

filled with odd waiters

who bring you things

you never asked for

and don't always like.

-lemony snicket

all of the above

great minds discuss ideas.

average minds discuss events.

small minds discuss people.

ha!!!!

i do all three.

i have a super mind!!!!

eat them, your words

I did it because I wanted to.

I needed to.

I had to.

But mainly

because you said

I wouldn't be able to.

in time

It's a long road ahead.

The past,

let it go.

You'll be happier that way.

as a man...

Though last on my list,

you are definately not least.

Kim Hyun Joong,

thanks,

for making the crappy

playoffs disappear,

even if it was just for a moment.

*c'mon i'm not shallow....i liked the song too

forever young

                                             yoshee.smugmug.com

You can't stay that way forever.

Everyone grows up eventually.

You really should too.

i cry

Dear Rick Carlisle,
I like you, I do, but sometimes you make some dumb decisions.  And when I said sometimes, I meant the whole damn series.

Since I promised not to take it personally this year, I won't.  However, I was wondering if maybe you can answer a question or two, now that you have plenty of time.

Can we start with the line ups..?  Free RODDY B did not become a mantra over night.  There was a reason why fans all over Dallas was chanting it.  Can you explain why he was not put into the games?  Also, when you finally did free "Roddy B" and he sparked up the game, you pulled him out.  YOU PULLED HIM OUT!!! Who cares if he is tired.  He hasn't played all playoffs.  Let the dude have some minutes yo.

Oh yea, let's talk about minutes. JJ Barea sure was getting alot of playing time.  Yea, he made some pretty bad ass shots but do you watch him on the other end of the court??  Do you?  How can you sit Butler the entire half of a game and let JJ Barea and Jason JET Terry miss wide open shots.  It's not like Terry ever does anything during playoffs.  I mean come on, don't you watch old playoff footages?  When has he ever shown up for the playoffs?  Umm, never.

And oh good lord, can you teach the team to drive???  I know they don't get their calls but damn wear some big boy pants and keep doing it.  At least then, I don't have to listen to Charles Barkley's no ring wearing ass run his mouth and call the team soft.

Yes, can you answer that?  That's all I wanted to know.  I feel that I am entitled.  I've been a devoted MAVS fan since they've sucked.  Btw, despite my rudeness, I still love you guys.  Tell Dirk I said Hi.

Love,
meme

P.S. Those are real tears btw.  REAL.