like that's going to happen...

Hold up,
wait a minute,
I need to get a few things straight.

YOU want HER
to have long flowing hair,
sultry eyes,
a nice rack,
a backside that will make you sweat,
legs you can climb,
a great smile,
a sexy walk,
a good job,
and be smart??
Hmmm, ok.

Umm...but
you're balding,
your gut is exploding,
and you walk with a limp.

Yea,
I can totally see how that's an even trade.
Frankly, my dear,
beggars can not be choosers.

Picky much????