Monday, May 31, 2010

my bad

Rockport, Texas
I owe you an apology.

I admit, I have clowned on you quite often.
With a population of about 9,000 residents,
and one stop sign, you make it so easy.
You proudly boast that you are the
home of Dat Nguyen yet you have
no Starbucks..?  Come on.
See how easy you make it?

However, this weekend
you've  proven me wrong.
Yes, you are an incredibly small city,
but what you lack in size you
make up for in personality.

Your quaint little city houses
some of the nicest and 
hardest working people I've
met in a long time.
With their infectious smiles to
their helpful attitudes,
not only did they make the heat
go away but
they left me feeling a little
better about people in general.
You don't see that much
hospitality nowadays.

So, thank you for giving me a
semi decent vacation.

I'm not saying I love you Rockport
just your people.

save yourselves

if you actually want to keep the guy,
you may not want to show him how
pyscho you really are until maybe
6 months into the relationship,
or better yet wait til he's stuck.

Sorry but impregnating him
is not a viable option.
Dang, you really have issues yo.

Umm, yea, like I said,
don't release your true colors
just yet,
because chances are
he is going to run, run, and run.
Real fast,
he's going to run.

Surely you don't want that!!

P.S. Guys, she's crazy.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

fool's gold

I thought we all understood that beggars could not be choosers.
No, I'm not calling you a beggar....
I'm just sayin' you can't afford to be choosy.
Trust me.
I wouldn't lie to you.
Well, I would but I'm feeling pretty honest today.

Yea, you may want to stop while you're ahead.
Actually, let's not wait, just stop now.
Because you couldn't get any better
then what you currently have.

Honestly, you hit the jackpot.
A big one.
And like all idiots who hit it big,
you lose your minds.

So, please don't shoot yourself in the foot,
the mouth, the face or any other
important body parts that you may need.
Stop before it's too late

It may not be perfect to you,
but it's pretty damn close bro.
Think about it.

go on, go

my friend,
easy come.
easy go.
fret  you not,
for it was not worth it.

Monday, May 24, 2010

imma be...

Adults are always asking kids
what they want to be when they grow up 
because they're looking for ideas.
-Paula Poundstone

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

sin city???

Ladies, I know it's a little hard
letting the boys out to play,
but do you think after a night
of heavy drinking and intense gambling
that they will remember to visit the
strip bars? 

Oh, you do, do ya?
My bad.

Boys, you can't say I didn't try.

whining much??

I grew up believing that "big girls don't cry" because my father taught me so. I figured the same rule applies for the male gender, right?  Obviously, someones father has been slacking off. I think it's a bitch move to cry about wedding dates bro.  Who cares if his wedding is a week before yours???  Stealing your thunder??  Really?  What are you jacking lines from "Bride Wars?"  C'mon, this is where I do a penis check.  Yup, yours is gone!!! Be happy for your friend.  It will be ok.  The world will still turn and Chuck Norris is still the bomb yo. Oh btw, Tommy and I changed our color, should we check with you first groomzilla?

I'll pass

Nobody likes a sore loser
but I personally prefer them over their counter parts,
You know them,
with their smug smile
and gloating words,
they never let you forget a thing.
Let them revel in their victory,
it won't last long,
for who wants to play with a bully?
Not I.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

amused i am

good one children.
good one.
i'm glad they
learned something.


  I know you're not a quitter!
  But sometimes you just
  need to throw in the towel
  and call it a day.
  No, really.
  Breaking your face
  and drilling your fingers
  can't be fun.
  Ok, so you haven't
  done that yet
  there is always tomorrow.
  Besides, temporarily blinding 
  your pretty helper should be
  What is there to
  think about?
  Stop while you're
  ahead buddy.

Monday, May 17, 2010

that's it

You appear so harmless.
you pack a mean punch.
Lesson learned.

growing up

Remember when were young
and we knew everything,
or so we thought.
And how we couldn't wait to grow up
because no one understood us.

Boy, were we stupid.

Nothing ever is as it seems.
Being grown up is
harder then I thought.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

color me happy

The right person is going to think the
sun shines out of your ass
and your shit smells like roses.
Until then,
don't compromise.
You are who you are.

Monday, May 10, 2010

full of it

ESPN called a panel of experts to compile a list of their top 3 postseason's biggest disappointment.

The results:

Hmm, I'm currently at a quandary.  Henry Abbott an expert..?? Really?  Abbott lost all creditabilty when he put Dirk's name on that list.

Yes, I love Dirk.  And yes I can be completely biased in his favor but out of the entire playoffs, Dirk as the biggest disappointment? 

Guy, I'm talking to you Abbott, you seriously have no business being a basketball commentator.  Obviously, you didn't do your homework.  Go look at the stat sheets yo.  Look at em real hard, then you will see that you are talking out of your ass.

Dirk averaged 26.7 ppg and 8.2 rpg, and shot 55% from behind the arc.  If you're going to blame their loss on anybody, then you're going to have to chalk it up to poor coaching and a weak supporting cast, with the exception of Roddy B and a few others.

I could run the stats for Jason Kidd, Jason Terry, Shawn Marion, and Erick Dampier for you but that would make you look like an even bigger douche.  Watch a game or two before you run your mouth.

Btw, Tim Duncan has not been playing like he use to but  #3 on your list?  Really?  You couldn't find anybody worst then DIRK or TIM? 

I need your job.  I don't have to know jack and I can spit shit out all day.  Must be good...must be good.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

for now

Keep on wishing...
no one said you shouldn't try.

But wishing....
isn't going to change things.

Trust me.
I've been wishing for Nowitzki for awhile now.

You have to do more then that,
much more.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

i must agree

Fate is like a strange,
unpopular restaurant
filled with odd waiters
who bring you things
you never asked for
and don't always like.
-lemony snicket

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

all of the above

great minds discuss ideas.
average minds discuss events.
small minds discuss people.

i do all three.
i have a super mind!!!!

Monday, May 3, 2010

eat them, your words

I did it because I wanted to.
I needed to.
I had to.
But mainly
because you said
I wouldn't be able to.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

in time

It's a long road ahead.
The past,
let it go.
You'll be happier that way.

as a man...

Though last on my list,
you are definately not least.
Kim Hyun Joong,
for making the crappy
playoffs disappear,
even if it was just for a moment.

*c'mon i'm not shallow....i liked the song too