Friday, April 30, 2010

forever young

You can't stay that way forever.
Everyone grows up eventually.
You really should too.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

i cry

Dear Rick Carlisle,
I like you, I do, but sometimes you make some dumb decisions.  And when I said sometimes, I meant the whole damn series.

Since I promised not to take it personally this year, I won't.  However, I was wondering if maybe you can answer a question or two, now that you have plenty of time.

Can we start with the line ups..?  Free RODDY B did not become a mantra over night.  There was a reason why fans all over Dallas was chanting it.  Can you explain why he was not put into the games?  Also, when you finally did free "Roddy B" and he sparked up the game, you pulled him out.  YOU PULLED HIM OUT!!! Who cares if he is tired.  He hasn't played all playoffs.  Let the dude have some minutes yo.

Oh yea, let's talk about minutes. JJ Barea sure was getting alot of playing time.  Yea, he made some pretty bad ass shots but do you watch him on the other end of the court??  Do you?  How can you sit Butler the entire half of a game and let JJ Barea and Jason JET Terry miss wide open shots.  It's not like Terry ever does anything during playoffs.  I mean come on, don't you watch old playoff footages?  When has he ever shown up for the playoffs?  Umm, never.

And oh good lord, can you teach the team to drive???  I know they don't get their calls but damn wear some big boy pants and keep doing it.  At least then, I don't have to listen to Charles Barkley's no ring wearing ass run his mouth and call the team soft.

Yes, can you answer that?  That's all I wanted to know.  I feel that I am entitled.  I've been a devoted MAVS fan since they've sucked.  Btw, despite my rudeness, I still love you guys.  Tell Dirk I said Hi.


P.S. Those are real tears btw.  REAL.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

i concur.

he's pretty excited about
the Mavs win last night.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

why not???

Whoever came up with the idiom
You can't have your cake and eat it too
needs to seriously stop,
and think about it.
WTF are you supposed to do
with a cake if not eat it?
I can't locate the genius who coined
this idiotic phrase
so I'm going to ask you... 
since you felt the need to 
throw the saying in my face.

If the Dallas Mavericks made it to the playoffs,
why wouldn't I want them to 
advance to the next round?

If that makes me greedy,
so be it.

Your cake may smell good
but mine sure is tasty!


Weather is a great metaphor for life,
 sometimes it's good,
sometimes it's bad,
there's nothing much you can do about it
but carry an umbrella.
~Terri Guillemets

Thursday, April 22, 2010

mon ami...

or at least good friends,
adhere to a code,
an honor system of sort.
It's pretty universal
and applies to almost everyone.

What are they???

that sure explains alot.

Like, umm  I don't know....

For me,
not fooling around with my family members
is a big one.
You know like my sisters,
my brother,
my cousins,
my grandmother,
my dog,
you know
anyone or thing that matters to me.
Go ahead,
mess with every Dick and Jane possible
but please don't swim in my family pool yo.

And oh,
talking trash about your other friends,
not good either.
It's harmless if you're jesting
about your brain and dick sizes 
but when you 
start telling each others secrets,
while it's juicy for me to hear,
it's pretty jacked up for you to share.
Not such a buddy there yo.

And one last thing,
while you may be perfect,
not everyone is.
Let's not be smug.
You may just find out how very imperfect 
you really are.

That's how a friendship works  yo.
As long as you abide to the basics
you should be fine.

You scratch my back and 
I'll scratch yours.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Let's be honest.
I am my #1.
I love you all,
some more then others,
but I love my self most.

would I jump in front of car for you?
probably not.
Which means I wouldn't
suck out
posionous venom to
save your life either.
please don't ask me to,
you'll just be disappointed.

I mean,
I'll share my wealth with you
(not that that's much).
I just won't die for you.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Saturday, April 17, 2010


this year I promise not to take
the playoffs personally.

I won't break the remote control,
my phone,
my toe,
or my heart
the way I did
when you guys lost
to the HEAT
in the NBA finals
a few years back.

This year
I shall not fill buckets up with my precious
tears like I did the year
you were #1 seed
and lost in the first round.
I won't shed a tear.

This year,
I will not let  Charles Barkley's
smug smile and lame comments
reduce me to a belligerent lunatic.

This year,
I won't go to work hurt
and hateful because you guys
have always managed to make one player
seem like a SUPASTAR!!!

none of those things will I feel.

Because this year,
when you finally win it all,
I know it's not just for me.....
but for all your real fans,
the ones that have loved you guys forever.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010


the higher they are,
the harder the fall.

Just sayin'

Monday, April 12, 2010


I really am SORRY yo.
I am.
It's just that
I got you a gift
and you left.
And then I totally  forgot about it.
Then god's gift to the female population
asked if he could borrow it.
It was just sitting there...
I let him borrow it.

I'm getting it back.
It's still yours.

I know,
I know,
I can be a
sorry friend sometimes.
I'm a tad bit sarcastic,
a little forgetful,
and alot impatient.
I don't always keep in touch and
I always seem too busy.
And often times I like
to  blog about you.

The truth is...
you guys are my friends
and I do care.
I am sorry.
(when it's my fault).

*I won't look in his eyes next time. I promise.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

U go boiiiii!!!

I love him even at this angle.
With 40 pts,
10 rebounds,
and a steal
in a must win game
against Trailblazers,
who wouldn't want to jump his bones?

I did,
several times to be honest,
especially with
1:10 left in the game....

at the baseline,
shoots a for a wide open16-footer.
And the crowd goes nuts!!!
Oh, no they don't,
My bad,
Mavericks were playing
in Portland.
I went nuts.

They haven't been able to squeeze a win
from Portland all year.
I about tinkled in my pants.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

brutal yo!

I saw it.
I know,
Heidi did go a bit
nuts fixing her face.

You think so?
It's not that bad.
I just didn't recognize her.
Heard it's pretty addicting stuff yo.

I guess.
I normally can't tell when it comes
to the Korean actresses.
Korea does seem to have the best
plastic surgeons.

Excuse me?
Am I planning to go where?
To Korea?
For what?

to get my nose worked on??
You think that would help me, huh?
And if I get addicted,
I can get my overbite fixed too.
Umm, ok.

Anything else,
while were at it....?

there is?

I don't know about that,
shaving an inch or two off
my hips might prove
be a little painful.

will you look at that?
Look at the time,
how it flies.
Gotta run!!!

this was fun.
I don't know why we don't
do this more often......

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


I think it's sweet
that you're so in
I do.
For real, yo.
it doesn't nauseate me
to see you guys
pet and feed each other.
Not one bit.
I promise,
Girl Scout Honor.
As a matter of fact,
my ears only bleed  a little
when your baby voices make
an appearence.
It's cute though.
And the way you guys gaze at each other...
intense stuff yo.
Your love,
it's for the ages.

Excuse me for a second.
I apologize,
I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Now, what was I saying?

You guys finally found each other!!
Despite the fact that you guys
make me sick most the time...
I am happy for you!!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Dear Memedo,
           I'm at wits end.  Since you're so smart, maybe you can help me out.  You see, I am considered a triple threat, not only am I extremely good looking, but I have the brains, the body and the money to match that.  I have girls lining up at my door and I'm rarely seen without an eyecandy linked to my arm. It doesn't help that I'm extremely successful. Everyone envys me.  And to be perfectly honest, why wouldn't they.  I am perfect.  While some consider this a blessing, I find all this attention and focus on me a tad bit annoying.  What can I do to stop the female population from pawing all over me?

Dear Troubled,
                Wow, you have some serious problems.  Goodlooking, smart, rich, and successful?  Damn, I feel so sorry for you.  Nobody should ever have to go through what you're currently experiencing. 
I think your problem is that you are way tooOOOooo MODEST.  Humbleness can be added to your list of attributes.  Well, I'll pray for you.  May God be with you!!

*Please do not come to me with crap like this and expect me to serious.  

Monday, April 5, 2010


Dirk Nowitzki
Dirk Nowitzki
Dirk Nowitzki
Dirk Nowitzki
Dirk Nowitzki
Dirk Nowitzki
Dirk Nowitzki
Dirk Nowitzki
Orlando Bloom
Kim Hyun Joong

Everyone has one,
even Ross and Rachel.
If you don't,
you should.
Just in case.
You never know.
It's like insurance, 
so if anything happens,
you are exempt.

It could happen.
I may meet Dirk.
he may want to see me
7 times after that.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

listen and learn

I'd be gosh darned.
Who would have thunk that
Jessica Simpson could teach
you a thing or two.

I'm your boy,
I really am.
You've only treated me as such
but if thats the case,
what ever happened to
bros before hos?

I understand your plight,
kind of,
but grow some balls and stop
being weanies, would ya?
It's a couple of beers and
maybe a poker game or two
not a visit to
"hookers are us."

Next time,
just tell her....

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
I'm one, not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this, baby
That I belong to me

*if you're married with children..this does not apply...
and if does....
tread lightly please