Don't ask then!!!

People, people, people,
and you...
Don't ask me to answer
a question honestly
and then go
APESHIT
when I do.

You want the truth,
YOU WANT THE TRUTH...????
Well, shiet you can't handle the truth!!!!

GOOD LORD.
I'll just lie my face off
next time.

Yea...yea...yea..
so I jacked a line from
A Few Good Men
and did a little creative editing....
call the cops.

It's our secret...

Yea,
I watch figure skating.
I like it too.
So,
sue me.

You can't take my man card away
because I'm not a man.

I know football/basketball
better then you..
so leave me be.

Btw,
I won't tell
anyone that you
teared up during
Joannie Rochette's
performance.

No, I won't.

You're safe,
for now.

one day...really.

I admit it.
Yes,
I am normally very
envious of the male gender.
As a matter of fact,
I experience penis envy quite frequently,
for if I had one,
my life would be so much easier.

However, there is one day
of the year where I'm
perfectly content being a
female and that is Valentine's Day.
Not that I celebrate it
because I don't.

However, I would be lying
if I said I didn't enjoy
that very special day.
Oh, because I do love it,
not for the gifts though,
but for the pure entertainment value.

It brings me great joy
to see my male counterparts
strickened in their pathetic
attempt to purchase the
perfect gift at the last minute.
I even chuckle at them when
they ask for my help.
And sometimes, just sometimes,
I laugh mercifully
(behind their backs of course)
at their predicament.

Because even though my man
is far from perfect,
he treats me well enough
that on the 14th of every February,
I don't depend on flowers, chocolates,
or jewelry to feel special.
I, personally,
find it insulting
to have to wait for one day
out of the year
to be treated well.

So, gentlemen treat your ladies good everyday
and maybe you won't be so frazzled
every February.
And you too ladies,
find a good guy...
then those material things
won't really matter...
Both parties are happier that way!

WHO DAT is?

Being from "WHO DAT" nation,
many assume that come this Sunday
I will be donning my
Drew Brees jersey,
drinking me some Jager,
and ripping out my guts
cheering for "THE SAINTS."

Yes,
definitely,
if they were playing against
someone else.
Sadly,
they are being pitted
against
"THE COLTS"
MY COLTS.

Call me a traitor if you will,
spit on me if you want,
egg my house if you must,
but I will not be swayed.
My loyalty lies
with him.

Don't pretend like you
don't know who
HE
is.

He is
PERFECTION
personified.

You think he's pretty
sexy yourself (even if you're a die-hard Saints fan),
especially when he screams
out audibles.
Don't lie,
you do.
It's ok,
I'm not here to judge.

With a new coach,
no running game,
and new targets
many are banking on
THE COLTS
to lose
the Superbowl.

Call in your bets now playas,
but it's not guaranteed yet.

Because PEYTON MANNING
is at his best.
He's more productive then ever.
You won't hear it from him though,
he'll just prove it this weekend.
Because the league's
smartest,
hardest working
QB is about to get
his second ring.

WHO DAT?
DAT is DA MAN.

Yea, I said it.
And what?

opps...

Never said I was smart,
just smarter then you.

Much smarter.

so nice

My father is a wise man,
so full of knowledge he is.
He once told me
"don't sin my dear
for you will be punished."

Trust him, he said,
he knows,
for he fu@ked up soundly
and was given 3 daughters.

Thanks daddy.
I feel so warm inside.

suck it up

Say,
don't get mad at me
because everyone likes your sibling more.
You'll have to take that
up with your parents.
They dispense the genes,
not I.
I had nothing to do with the fact that
your brother is both mysterious and charming.
Or that he's the
smarter,
hotter,
and more athletically inclined
brother.
Nope, nothing to do with me guy.

It is unfortunate for you though.
We can't help how we feel.
It does help that he doesn't cry about his short comings.

So, why don't you wipe your tears,
go put on some big boy pants
and rub some dirt on it.
It'll be ok.

like that's going to happen...

Hold up,
wait a minute,
I need to get a few things straight.

YOU want HER
to have long flowing hair,
sultry eyes,
a nice rack,
a backside that will make you sweat,
legs you can climb,
a great smile,
a sexy walk,
a good job,
and be smart??
Hmmm, ok.

Umm...but
you're balding,
your gut is exploding,
and you walk with a limp.

Yea,
I can totally see how that's an even trade.
Frankly, my dear,
beggars can not be choosers.

Picky much????

good as gold

Guys,
need help with the ladies?
Never fear,
Meme's here.
My only words of advice to give,
would be to purchase a tiny dog,
and name him Pooh.
Wait...scratch that.
Better yet,
do what you can,
whether it be beg, borrow, steal or even have one,
you need to get your hands on a baby,
preferably a cute one.
Tow it along,
and just wait.
Works like a charm.
EVERYTIME.
And for all the ladies out there,
I have a little something, something
for you too...
No need for drastic measures, just the purchase of a ring.
Place the ring on your ring finger,
and voila..
Watch the magic show.
For if you wear it,
they will come.

ignorance is bliss

Bite me.
I can't help it if you were misinformed.
If only you knew...
Too bad I wasn't your teacher,
maybe...maybe you wouldn't have gone apeshit.
Did you think Columbus was a hero?
Ohh...you did.
Sigh.
I'm sorry that good ole Chris was a baby killer
and a murderer,
maybe he had good reasons for using the Natives as target practice.
I didn't mean to disillusion him in your eyes,
I was merely dispensing facts,
but if you want your children to remain ignorant about history the way you seem to be..
by all means, I will keep my mouth shut.
By the way, do you celebrate Hitler's reign too?
They were very similiar in a way.
Just food for thought...

sigh.

I find watching sports with gamblers slightly annoying.
It kinda kills the mood.
Especially if the said gamblers are members of your family, your closest friends, and your boyfriend.
Thanks for taking the joy out of the game yo.
Thanks alot.

You can watch....they say.
You can even root for them,
but not too much,
they can only win by four.

Thanks but no thanks buddies!!!!

Yes, I know.

How depressing,
and unfair.
Yes, that is a boy.
And yes,
he is prettier then me.
Sad but true.

I'm right,right?

There is something slightly disturbing about listening to an adult tell a child that mice lay eggs.

I know I'm not an expert on biology and the arts of nature and science, but I promise you, I don't think mice lay eggs??

Do tell me I am correct!!!

Crazies!!!

Earlier last month, I posted a blog on the definitons of a fan, a true fan. I was irritated by those who claim to be fans but desert their "devotion" at the earliest sign of trouble.

In case you missed it, I'll give you a quick run through.....

Fan: noun 1 : an enthusiastic devotee (as of a sport or a performing art) usually as a spectator 2 : an ardent admirer or enthusiast (as of a celebrity or a pursuit)

However, I failed to address the fans that take things to the next level.

I must admit, I am an ardent Dirk Nowitzki admirer.
Yes, I know his birthday,
and sometimes I celebrate it.
I may know his mother, sister, and father's names as well.
Though I live and breathe to watch him play,
I don't have locks of his hair underneath my pillow.
I've never seen what the inside or the outside of his house looks like,
which means, I have yet to camp outside his place.
I don't cry (only when he gets hurt) when he dates someone,
nor do i have voodoo dolls to wish evil upon those he dates.
I don't write nasty comments on those who blog untrue & hateful things about him.
And I've yet to own a jersey unwashed of his sweat.
I do not throw things or spit at opposing teams,
nor do I wish them death.
And most importantly,
I am not blind to his faults.

I am a fan. An ardent fan. Obsessive even. But psychotic I am not.

psy·cho(sk)ADJECTIVE:Crazy; insane.

To all those psychopaths out there.

I am entitled to my own opinion.
Yes, I'm tired of all the Tiger Woods jokes out there,
but I will laugh when I find one amusing.
Hwangbo is great.
You will never get Hyun Joong so stop hating on her.
Can I appreciate a good Dirk cut?
Yes, I can.
I am a fan.

Not a crazy!

they say the darnest things!!!!

Wow, how observant you are.
That is indeed George Washington.
No,
not the real one.
Yes, I'm pretty sure.
Right,
I know he looks just like him,
but I'm positive he is dead.
How do I know?
Because I'm your U.S. History teacher!?!?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to confuse you.
How inconsiderate of me.
Next time, before I show The Patriot,
I'll remember to provide the background info.
I can't believe how thoughtless I was.
Am I being serious?
Of course!!!
What?
I sound sacarstic?
Who me?
Why would I use sarcasm?
I mean,
not every 8th grader in the U.S. knows that George Washington can no longer make cameos.
Really.
It's only been 210 yrs since his death.
It's ok.
Really.

who me?

Was watching a show,
which will remain nameless (no free advertising here yo..)
It mentioned those who blog,
like myself.
It likened us to losers.
*Gasp*
For if we have lives..
why would we blog?
I guess,
it's trying to say
losers like I,
blog for losers like you,
to read.
Ouch.
Did it insult us both?
Well, it directly took a stab at me,
and i merely jabbed at you.
It makes me feel better.

nosey

Not a golf fan myself.
So, can't say I'm a Tiger fan.
But dude, let him be.

let me think....

Umm....
Yes, I am a vegetarian.
Umm....
No, I do not lose weight that way.
Umm....
Yes, I am getting married next November.
Umm....
No, I probably should not eat so much.
Umm....
Yes, I am aware that these buttered rolls are loaded with carbs.
Umm....
No, I have yet to work out today.

BUT..... it's THANKSGIVING you pretentious cow.

LET ME EAT!!!!!

blood, guts, and gore...oh my!!!

O Rain, Rain.
Wherefore art thou Rain?
Did you tire of being King of Kpop?
Perhaps the mass of female fans hurling themselves at your feet has lost its appeal?
Do we, your devoted fan, not stand a chance against Hollywood?
Have they treated you well?
Have they?
Do think about it.
Surely, I think not!!
First they dupe you into a movie such as Speed Racer,
and now Ninja Assassin.
I am hurt.
A plague on their houses!
Don't get me wrong, my eyes did not suffer,
93 minutes was not nearly enough time to admire your finely sculpted body.
However, never have I seen such blood, guts and gore,
An attack on my delicate sensibilities, it was.
If ever I did wonder what the by product of Kill Bill and an orgy of blood infested movie would be, I now know the answer.
Do I blame you for the inferiority of this movie?
I do not.
The dialogue and storyline did that on its own.
Love it, I did not.
Hate it?
Nay.
So, support you I will,
at least for another day.
Sigh.
It's been a trying night,
And I must bid you adieu.
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.

Yea...Ninja Assasin had that kind of effect on me.

this ones for you....

It must be something in the water.
Perhaps the holiday season is bringing them out?
Or do they just breed them ignorant nowadays?
Because they are everywhere.
Everywhere.
Ridiculously dumb people.
You know who I'm talking about.
The ones infected with diarrhea of the mouth,
crap just keeps coming out,
the ones that don't know how or when to shut up.
They think they're funny.
Please.
Should I toast to their idiocy?
Alright.
Cheers, to stupidity...lets hold hands and unite!!!!



P.S. Rookie and Cuong, don't feel bad, surprisingly enough, I'm not talking about you guys. Breathe easy.

gosh.

Wow.
Lady Gaga.
You're something.
Not necessarily a good something either.

choot...choot!!!!!

Ok. I love you, Dirk Nowitzki. Yes, I do. Alot. Passionately. Fervently. So, I don't get tired of singing you your praises.

I do, however, know that you have your faults. If I were to make a list, I'd start with your defensive game. Need I say more?? What about your ugly fade away shots...boy, just take it to the hole already. You're DIRK FREAKING NOWITZKI, you can do that!!! I know you don't have the killer instinct...but damn son...how you going to let them do that to you?

But you know what??? Even though your drives to the hoop look less then graceful, what you lack in skills you make up with hardwork. I've watched you since I was 18 and now I'm 30. It's been a 12 year love affair. I've never seen anyone with your work ethic. You're like the fucking little engine that could. And yes, I think you can!!

For those non believers who think he's over rated, I won't even waste my breath.

Go check out his stats....he isn't a 9 time nba allstar and mvp player for naught!!

I'm just sayin'

yea, no.

Yes, I'll admit it. I enjoyed the Twilight series. I could even say I'm a big fan. What's not to like?

Come on. It's Edward freaking Cullen. If you've read the book, you'll know what I mean, and if you haven't, go read it.

It's no Pride and Prejudice, let me tell you, but it does have it's entertainment value. The two male leads are so imperfect, they're perfect. Also, there's Bella. Bella. Bella. Bella. Let's just say...you'll feel so much better about yourself after you've read this series. If a clumsy, fickle, and naive chit like her can land herself two hotties...(even if one is a vampire and the other is a werewolve) you still have hope.

So, am I looking forward to the movie? Not so much. The first one almost made me throw up in my mouth twice, well, maybe thrice. Took me almost a year to recover...just in time for the second installment.

Will I go see New Moon on opening week, probably not. I wish not to be trampled by hordes of teenage girls screaming their undying love for Edward or Jacob...or both.

So friends, no I will not go watch the midnight showing with you. Thanks but I pass.

cry me a river.....

I'm sure everyone has heard of the Middle Child Syndrome.

The middle child believes they suffer grave injustice and negligence. They are often seen sulking in the corner and hosting their own pity party.

I've often wondered about the validity of one suffering from this complex.

And you know what? After much thought, I think they totally have the right to cry and complain.

Before they are even born, they get screwed over. I mean, traditionally only first borns get a baby shower. Oh...so all those cute gifts, they don't get it. And let's face it, hand me downs don't count either.

Teachers expect them to live up to the predecessors or fail miserably.

At family reunions they are stuck listening to snarky remarks. Oh...the oldest is so responsible and the youngest is so cute.

What about me, yo? Am I chop liver or what? I'm responsible AND cute.

Oh, my bad, welcome to my party.

Yea, I'm a middle child. And, yes, it's my party and I can cry if I want to!!!!

it's aight....

You're right Chan...you are decent.
What you lack in height, you make up in talent.
Nice shots.

riddle me this....

Let's say someone posed a question.
Umm, lets be more specific, lets say they posed this particular question:

Would you rather be the ugliest of all the pretties or the prettiest of all the uglies?

Would you actually stop to ponder the question for more then a second?
Would you really?
Let me stop you now.
Because I'm nice, I will help you out.
To that moron that was laughing uncontrollably(you know who you are) let me clarify something for you......

You would still be ugly even if you are the prettiest of the uglies..just less.

Who is the idiot now..?
You do make it too easy.

hmm?

Am I the only one who finds this problematic???



Does anyone else find it disturbing that the male gender is getting prettier by the day???

To look at a picture and have to ponder if the subject is male or female, well, that kinda bites. For me, it does.

While they are lovely to watch on screen, their existance really makes it difficult for us females. Really. It's already hard competing against your own gender, now we have to compete against the boys too? Stop it.

Btw, as much as I'm complaining...I do really enjoy to look at their lovely faces, especially the cast of You're Beautiful, you really are beautiful.

really???

I'm all about cliffhangers...I promise. It's a great way to keep the audience on their toes. But, when you have to wait a year and a half to find out what happens next, I'm not such a fan.

Suzanne Collins, yes, I am talking to you. You. Are. Killing. Me. You can't leave the masses hanging like that. You weren't even kind enough to give us a strong rope, we're just dangling...dangling, I tell you.

Hunger Games was great. Catching Fire was better. The sequel will probably rape us, I'm sure. So, please don't make us wait too long.

Btw, to the lady at Borders bookstore, just because I can't see you, doesn't mean I can't hear you.

I'm not looking for the Japanese translation of the book because I can read in English. I promise, that and the fact that I'm Vietnamese.

I think not......

Many say your wedding day is the best day of your life.
I sure hope so.
Because planning for it surely blows.
It's not even your wedding anymore.
It's for the masses.
Don't worry Tommy.....
It's just "You and I"

Fan? Highly doubtful!

Fan: noun 1 : an enthusiastic devotee (as of a sport or a performing art) usually as a spectator 2 : an ardent admirer or enthusiast (as of a celebrity or a pursuit)

According to Merriam Webster, that is what a fan is. Webster's definition include words like ardent and devotee. How many claim to be fans, yet they have no clue as to what a fan truly is?

You know what I hate? Bad fans. The ones who will rave about how wonderful their team/celebrity/or pursuit is when things are good and spit on them when things get a little tough.

No where in the definition does it include words such as belittling, contemptuous, decrying, degrading, demeaning, depreciative, depreciatory, disdainful, disparaging, scornful, slighting, uncomplimentary, aspersing, defamatory, detractive, insulting, libelous, maligning, slandering, slanderous, vilifying; abusive, opprobrious, scurrilous; despiteful, malevolent, malicious, spiteful...

Sorry folks....that no longer qualifies you as a fan.

Cry me a freaking river, but do not come to me with remarks like "Hey, I'm a fan but..............." because I'm not buying it. And that's all folks!!